dont you remember

im in sort of a mental dilemma.
not knowing whether to go left or right, up or down.

these days when i cant decide what to do, its different then any day before.
i have to make decisions alone.
there is no one for me to call.
there is no one for me to explain to.
they have all gone.
all that is left will is a rug. a matt. and although i love it, he cannot hold through everything.

i sat alone today and looked through my phone for someone to call. for someone to laugh with.
and the weird thing is, i couldn't find anyone i knew that would be willing to just listen. this has never happened.
everyone and thing is too busy. which is mighty fine. it just left me with a complicated sense of abandonment.

until i remembered, there is one greater than all that sits beside me. when i am low and alone, i forget what is good and what is near. my heart sometimes cries for the relief of something i cant explain.
but i remember now what it was i seek.
the love and passion.
the over powering compassion and grace
the abundance of joy

only can be found
in one place.
forgive me when i retreat to foreign places in my mind and heart, you know what i am searching for and you know what it is that i need.
these decisions will ultimately decide my future,
and i put them in your hands.

kelsie marie mcnairComment